Dear Christian Friends; An Attempt at Mending

To all my Christian friends who don’t support homosexuality, and other Christians who feel the same,

I know times are tough for you right now, being attacked for your views. But I want to bring some things up, in light of the recent Supreme Court decision to legalize marriage equality nationwide. 

Do not pray for me. That is, do not pray for me to not be gay. I’ve tried, many times.

It. Does. Not. Work.  

If you’re going to pray for me, pray for me to go down the path God wants me to be on. We can sit and debate if I truly am or not all night and day, but what is a truth is that neither of us know for sure. If you want to pray for me, let that be your prayer. I understand you’re trying to do good by praying for me to not be gay, but...it does the opposite. 

Next, just because you don’t think my marriage is exactly in God’s plan does not mean you have to legally oppose it. Marriage, whether you like it or not, is not exclusively Christian. People outside the faith get married all the time. You are entitled to your opinion on my marriage, but please do not let that opinion infringe on my rights. You all love your spouses, and significant others. That’s all we’re trying to do, have the same rights with a person we love. 

Also, please do not ignore the fact that marriage has been redefined before. In the Bible, there are multiple times where someone either had multiple wives, concubines, was forced into marriage, married for money, ect. It has happened before. We even have Biblical proof of that. Not to mention the fact divorce has been made legal. Marriage shouldn’t be about who is involved in it, but what it is revolved around. 

If you’re going to attack my sin, attack my lust. Lust is the sin. Homosexuality was not even a word, or an idea, until the late 19th century. When the original translations of the Bible quote against homosexuality, it’s specifically the sexual acts. Which are also a heterosexual sin. Homosexuality does not equal lust. Lust is a product of any sexual orientation. Make that your sin you to combat. I understand that you want to “save” me from my sins, but trust me, I’m working on that enough for myself. Your heart is in the right place. Jesus loves us both the same. When you tell someone that their love is pushing them away from God though, they're going to get hurt and offended and probably turn the opposite way. 

We aren’t trying to attack the church. Trust me, save for a few crazy individuals, no one is going to force you to be gay or force a pastor to marry us. Most will take their wedding elsewhere. 

I’m sorry you’ve been attacked for your views. I’m sorry that people call you bigots and are saying you’re hateful. I’m sorry that you’re being degraded because of what you believe in. Not all of us want that; in fact, it’s how we’ve felt for years and years due to things we can not change. The queer community and the Christian community have a lot in common actually. Both are illegal in many parts of the world, both are based around love, and both just want a world in where they don’t feel prosecuted by something they feel so passionately about. Crazy, right? We all just get so passionate about everything that we get caught up in hateful words, when instead we should all, both sides, be focusing on speaking with love and truth. 

I know your heart is in the right place. I know that you're just trying to live a life God wants you to live, and be a light unto others. I’m not trying to force my opinion on you. I know I've made a lot of mistakes and gone about my faith all wrong before. I’m trying to have you hear my voice. Hear my heart. I’m praying for you, that people will see your side, but I’m also praying you will see our side of things. Then, we can take a step forward to being a united and unique nation.

Again, I’m so, so sorry. 

Lots of love,

Your gay Christian neighbor.

Taking the Reins

I tried to think of some in-your-face-firework-explosion way to start this article, but nothing felt right. Simplicity is the perfect way to start this. You see, I’m a victim, but a survivor, of depression. It’s part of who I am, and I feel this is something that my heart is telling me to write about.

Middle school is rough for everyone. It’s a time when our bodies are changing, cliques are forming, and we’re entering an abnormal limbo between childhood and adulthood. At least in high school you’re half way across the line into adulthood- middle school is a different story though. The trials of middle school, though when we look back as adults are small, are huge to someone who is actually experiencing them. Though it’s tough to pinpoint an exact time of when I went from being “normal” to depressed, it’s clear that it began, and hit me the hardest, in middle school.

I've always been a curious kid. My mom always says I could make ears bleed with all my talking and question asking as a child. That’s still carried into today, and definitely played a big part of my middle school experiences, except it wasn't positive nor cute like a child asking why the sky is blue. My questions turned to things like “Why don’t people like me?”, “What did I do wrong?”, and “Why do I even bother living anymore?”. I began to place the blame of everything wrong in my life on myself. My dad’s illnesses, the isolation I faced at school, why I looked so different from everyone; to preteen me, it was all due to something I did, or was, doing wrong. I felt alone, I felt like I didn't have any friends, like I didn't belong on this Earth. I questioned and got angry with God, asking why I was going through so much. I continued to blame myself, until I reached a breaking point and began to punish myself. I couldn't understand why bad things kept happening to me- I was a nice kid, I got stellar grades, I didn't disobey my parents, and very rarely skipped church. Self harm became something I regularly turned too. I never did anything too permanent, just enough to make myself feel pain. I began to stop hanging out with friends, preferring to be in my room with the lights off than out enjoying the world. There were those dark, gruesome nights when escape from the world seemed like the best option to turn to. I thought maybe if I punished myself, whatever I was doing wrong would be balanced out and life would deal me a good hand of cards.

Looking back, I was so wrong with everything that happened. It wasn't my fault, and I shouldn't have punished myself like I did. But in the present time, that’s how I felt. I never turned to anyone for help, for fear of doing something else wrong and being isolated even more. I felt alone. I had read so many articles of kids turning for help, but having what they’re feeling written off as teen angst, or hormones raging and causing mood swings. Never once did I turn to an adult for help. In fact, I never even told a single adult about what I was feeling until my sophomore year of high school, far after I had taken control of my own mind again. I found help in my writing for a while, trying to let out the emotions swamping my mind as ink on a stark white page. Some online friends I made through writing helped as well. My literal saving grace came when I started going to a church, The Well, where I still attend today. For once, I felt like I belonged in a place. God placed his hand on me and led me to that special place, using his children there to show me what it meant to be loved. The problems in my way of thinking were illuminated; it wasn't my fault. It wasn't that God had left me; God was by my side the entire time. I just never listened to him. Jesus says you are good enough, even when the world does not; even when you yourself say you aren't good enough. Never once are you promised that your life will be perfect in the Bible, and that is something Christians everywhere need to cast out of their lives. What it does promise is that God will provide you support, a shoulder to lean on, and help you walk through the slings and arrows that you face everyday. He didn't cause me to be depressed; but he will use everything I went through to make sure that other people on Earth know that he will help, that they are loved, and that they are special in his eyes.

Depression is not something you can rid of completely. It’s not like the chicken pox; something you get once and don’t have to worry about again. It’s more similar to a cancer, something that you always fear relapsing into. It’s a part of who I am. I still have days where I feel alone, and can’t help but look at the negative side of things. It’s crippling, and stops my day in it’s tracks. But the difference now is that I see depression is not something that can control me. Through turning to God I realized that I can do anything, specifically take the reins and push depression back into the dark crevice of my mind where it belongs. It’s something I still live with; each day is a battle. I wake up and have to tell myself that I can make each day positive, and pray to God to help me do so, because without him it is impossible. I've started looking for the light in everything. My favorite musical, Into the Woods, has one line that embodies this. “The light is getting dimmer, I think I see a glimmer”. Not matter how dark times seem, if you look toward the light, you’ll find your way. No matter how I stray from the path, how awful things appear, there’s always a glimmer to look for. There is always hope, and if that's the only thing taken away from this article than so be it. Always hold to hope.

Depression does not leave a person. Instead they become able to overcome it. You can’t look at me when I’m sad and say “Get over it” or “Cheer up”. It doesn't work that way. Instead, lend them strength. “I’m here for you.” “I’m praying for you.” “You’re amazing.” In a world full of violence and judgement, the best medicine you can provide someone with depression on their bad days is support. If you have someone come to you struggling with depression, do not dismiss it. Do not push a young person aside, saying they’re overreacting, or that it’s just teenage hormones. Depression is not a joke, and I want people to see that. If you have depression, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. It’s not something you can tackle alone. Depression is strong, and it will overcome you if you don’t look for help. But just remember; you can be stronger. With the help of God, with the help of friends, family, anyone, you can get to a point where every day you wake up and you control your life. It won’t happen right away, but it will. Life does get better, and it’s beautiful, as are you.

Some of my favorite Bible verses to turn to;

Jeremiah 29:11

I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Galatians 5:1

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
Philippians 4:1

My dear, dear friends! I love you so much. I do want the very best for you. You make me feel such joy, fill me with such pride. Don’t waver. Stay on track, steady in God.
Mark 11:23

"Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.
2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline;

1 (800) 273-8255

You Can Do That? The Bible and Homosexuality

“Hi, my name is Noah, I’m a follower of Christ, and I’m gay.”

Seems weird to hear that, huh? Yeah, I know. People are constantly baffled by this; how can you be gay AND a Christian? That’s exactly what I found myself asking almost three years ago when I came out to the public. Amazingly, I didn't receive backlash for coming out. All my friends were okay with it, most of my school was, and if people weren't okay with my sexuality they never said it to my face, which is always one of the biggest fears of coming out as a teenager.

But that didn't mean I was 100% okay with it. It took me a whole year even to admit it, and once I did come to terms with who I was, I was worried God wouldn't be. Back then, I just prayed and when I felt at peace, I realized that God loved me no matter who I loved, guy or girl or somewhere in between. Later in the year, however, I realized that some people wouldn't take that as enough evidence that being gay was okay.

So, I set to research. I read articles, looked at verses, read books, prayed A LOT, and found evidence that supported what I was looking for. I never did anything with this though; I just sat with my knowledge and waited for people to attack me. But that doesn't happen...what does happen is that thousands of other teenagers in the LGBTQ community are harassed every day. How can I sit by, when people just like me are being mistreated and I hold information that I believe everyone should hear? One of my favorite quotes from the famous Martin Luther King Jr. says “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” It’s about time I wrote this article, analyzing verses and explaining my view on being gay and being Christian. This may be long, but I pray God leads you to continue reading and to open your hearts to his word.

First, let me start by stating my reasoning in the verses I use in the rest of this article. These verses are the most commonly quoted in the argument against homosexuality. I also looked to three different translations; King James, English Standard, and The Message. I used these not only in their spread out publication dates but also due to a rule that one of my favorite teachers in high school taught me; the table rule. A table with one leg won’t stand, a table with two is wobbly, and a table with three or more legs is solid, thus being the reason I looked to three translations.

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Verse 1: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

KJV: 9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Now, I think many of us can agree this verse’s main focus is the fact that all of us were once sinners, condemned, but Jesus came and washed our sins away. But what most people focus on is the “nor abusers of themselves with mankind” In the English standard version, this particular part is made into “Nor men who practice homosexuality”. Now, looking at many different verses in the Bible we can see that “mankind” doesn't particularly always just mean men; it means people. So you can roughly change that verse to “nor abusers of themselves with people”. This is what The Message translation does:

9-11 Don’t you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don’t care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don’t qualify as citizens in God’s kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I’m talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.

I believe The Message translation is a very accurate version of what God is trying to bring across through the Paul’s writing. When you Google “abuse”, the definition you get states “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse.” God isn't telling us that homosexuality is bad; he’s focusing on the abuse of one another. One of the ways we abuse each other is through dirty, meaningless sex. Sex is one of God’s gifts to mankind; when we abuse it, and use it wrongly, straight or gay, it is defiling that gift. The Bible says that we are all God’s children and all made in His image. When we abuse each other, through this kind of sexual behavior, through lying and cheating, through treating our bodies unhealthily, we are abusing His image and His children. I believe this is the true message of this verse. Last I checked, my being gay did not directly relate to going around sleeping with everyone. I was not hurting anyone by being attracted to and seeking a loving relationship with another male.

Verse 2: 1 Timothy 1:8-11

KJV: 8 But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; 9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for man slayers, 10 For whore mongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine; 11 According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust.

Now, this verse can be treated in exactly the same way as the one above! The same thing happens with “defile themselves with mankind”. The ESV directly translates this to “homosexuals”, but this is focusing on the “mankind” part and not the words mentioned before. Often we take this verse as focusing on what all it says is wrong, but instead, it’s saying that the word of God is for those who are sinners; which the Bible tells us we all are. This verse can be related again back to 1 Corinthians; all the sin’s listed are those that have to do with abusing one another. The Message translation sums all of the sins listed above into one part of a verse, focusing on those “riding roughshod over God, life, sex, truth, whatever!” As mentioned before, when we abuse each other, we abuse God.

Verse 3: Jude 1:7-8

KJV: 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. 8 Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

Now comes a big, and often misunderstood, Bible story. Jude translates almost exactly from KJV to ESV and The Message, so I won’t include those word for word. Instead, I’m going to turn to Genesis 19:4-9 for the story of Sodom;

4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: 5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. 6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, 7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly. 8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof. 9 And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.

This is often quoted against homosexuality, looking at verse 5. The men ask to “know” the angels inside Lot’s house. This is the same in ESV, but in The Message is is translated to “Bring them out so we can have our sport with them!”. These men aren't looking to just have sex with them; they’re looking to rape them. When we turn to Dictionary.com, the first definition of rape is unlawful and forced sexual intercourse. The second definition, however, states “an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation”. This act of raping the angels is not because of their sexuality, but an act of domination and violation. They have come into the city, the city these men claim as their own, so they threaten to rape them. Now, often is also quoted that one of the reason’s Sodom was destroyed was because of their sexual immorality, but this all leads back to what is stated in Corinthians. Homosexuality wasn't the sin of Sodom; it was their abuse of each other by vile acts, both straight and not. This is what Jude is warning us about; not to become abusers of each other.

Verse 4: Romans 1:26-28

KJV: 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Now, this is a verse very commonly used, as it states leaving the “natural” use, as they “burned in their lust”. The ESV treats this verse with the same language. However, The Message treats it just a tad differently.

26-27 Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either—women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

The part I want to draw attention to is where it mentions “all lust, no love.” Again, this can be related to Corinthians (Funny how God does that, huh?). This not just talking about homosexual acts; it’s discussing their sexual abuse of each other. When sex lacks love, it is defiled. Sex is something that should be used carefully, not abused, which it is when full of lust. Often this verse is quoted without the verses before. Verses 21-23 give us some background;

“Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things”

These people weren't just sinning; they were turning from God and to worldly idols.

Verse 5: Leviticus 18:22

22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

(Verse is the same in the other two translations) Here is the most famous of the verses against homosexuality, and one I also believe is misunderstood. The problem with quoting scripture, as I've given examples of previously, is when something is taken out of context. So, to further understand this verse I want to look at verse 21. “And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the Lord.”

This verse is against worshiping the idol Molech, which one of the main ways of worship involved infant sacrifice. But what I want to pay attention to even more is the last part of the verse: “I am the Lord.”

Being an Writing major, I always nerd out when I find rhetorical devices in the Bible. Here is one right here; and example of repetition. Where does this get mentioned that it’s important? Well, throughout the Bible. BUT, I want to draw attention to verse 6 “None of you shall approach any one of his close relatives to uncover nakedness. I am the Lord.” Both of these verses end with “I am the Lord", as do other commandments in Leviticus. What’s important are the verses that come after; with verse 6, it’s all laws against incestual relationships. If we look at this pattern, and apply it to verse 21, we can deduct that verse 22 is in direct correlation to the verse about Molech.

The reason these verses exist are because of God’s desire to separate Moses and his people from the Egyptians; Verse 3: “You shall not do as they do in the land of Egypt”...”You shall not walk in their statutes”. What these rules are focused on are things they are doing in Egypt; one of those being worshipping idols. When we look at history, there is vast evidence in cults using (and abusing) sex as rituals for idol worship, particularly turning to lust filled and love lacking sexual acts. It’s my belief that this is what Leviticus is discussing; men and women who turn from God with their sexual acts, defiling each other and abusing each other. Not those who practice homosexuality.

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Coming to terms with being gay and a Christian was hard, but I believe God lead me through it all and blessed me with the knowledge and interpretation I am writing to anyone who reads this. What I’m trying to accomplish with this is that if a person identifies as gay (or bi, lesbian, transgender, ect), and loves God, and does not abuse another in their sexual acts, than they are just as worthy of love as a straight person. It’s when you abuse God’s gifts to you, STRAIGHT OR GAY, that it becomes a problem in His eyes. I have two last verse to discuss though. The first being Galatians 5:14 “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”, and the second 1 Corinthians 13:13 “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

But, if you take anything from this, it is to love one another, be you gay, straight, bi, transgender, whatever. That is the message of the Gospel; God loved us so much, all of us broken, worthless people, that he sent his son to die for us in the ultimate act of love. When we abuse each other, in any way, we are turning from God’s one true commandment. The best way to bring people to God is not through hate, but through showing them the grace and love that his has shown us, even when we don't deserve it. He has given us a way, a way of faith, a way of hope, but most of all, a way of love.

Raise Your Words

"In my opinion..." "I think..."

Both of these are popular phrases on social media today, especially when talking about issues present in our society. Recently, it seems that things are becoming more and more controversial. People are speaking their minds about issues that bother them - which is fantastic! However, a lot of people lose credibility with their opinions, sometimes with what directly follows those "I think"s, and a lot more with how they respond to other people's opinions.

One of my biggest pet peeves probably has to be when someone makes a decision on how they view something without really researching it and forming a factual, thought out opinion. All over my twitter feed I see posts from my peers about issues going on without any research, or possibly even worse, one source and no others. If I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that if you have a solid opinion, people will respect you more and you may even be able to change people's minds.

Seeing all of the fights on Facebook makes me think of an activity I learned this past semester of college. It was presented to me a couple of different times, with maybe an alteration here or there to fit the situation, but the premise went like this; We would be split into either pairs, or depending on the number a group of three, and then a (usually) controversial statement or question was brought to our attention. Usually, we were paired with someone that did not have the same view point as our own. Instead of arguing about our points, we were both then given a controlled amount of time to inform the other person on what we thought. If you were the one not speaking at the time, you only had one goal; listen. In one activity I did like this, right after one person gave their opinion on the issue, the other person who was listening was to repeat what information they were just given to clarify that they understood the other person's viewpoint. Only then could said person go on to share their own view point, and the first person did the same as before; listened and then repeated. After all this happened, then the two could discuss, not argue, about their views and the differences.

The whole point of this activity was to get us to listen to one another. The main problem I see in today's age, be it in a classroom or a courtroom, is that each side is worried too much about arguing their point of view instead of learning what it is that the other side thinks. When this happens, often people get too caught up in the heat of the moment, make weaker arguments, and more than likely offend each other.

From my personal experience, learning to listen helped me greatly. I was able to make friends and have intelligent conversations about opposing view points without getting upset or angry, all because we sat down and listened to each other and instead of focusing on winning, focused on learning. This changed my mind on certain issues, and also helped me get my viewpoint across to other people as well. Sometimes we would still disagree, but we left the conversation having more knowledge and understanding of what it really is that the other person believes.

In one of the instances I was given this activity, I was paired with a friend who had a different view on same-sex marriage than I do. Both of us had facts behind our opinions, and despite our different opinions, we surprisingly found an abundance of similarities in what we thought and how we formed our opinions. Because we were both listening to each other, we were able to really understand each other, and this opened us up to even more conversation. This is something I wish more people would do, because when you get mad and argue, especially on social media, all you do is push people away from other view points and close yourself off from bettering yourself, and bettering society.

So, next time that you really want to get an opinion across when you see or hear something you don't agree with, just listen, or in the case of social media, read into it. Don't just read it and respond. Actually look into the issue, find factual sources (not just one source either. News sites/stations are probably some of the most biased sources you can get). And most of all, stay calm, because you change people's minds with love, not hate.

"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." - Rumi